Week #17

I have been out of sorts for several weeks. Hearing Mark talk about denial and anger this week really, really, REALLY hit home. I gave myself a kick in the rear to get going here again.

I pulled out an old book that I read long ago. The book , Enthusiasm Makes the Difference by Norman Vincent Peale. In the first chapter he writes, “For I truly believe that enthusiasm makes the difference between success and failure.”

I know this is what Mark, Davene, Trish and Derek have said in so many different ways. Not only have they said it they live it. I long for that enthusiasm. Somewhere along the way, long ago, I lost my enthusiasm. These past weeks I have been painfully aware of this and angry that I can’t get enthusiastic about anything.

A little further along he says, ” Enthusiasm can truly make a difference — the difference in how your life will turn out. …..”

How, when or why I lost my enthusiasm is also lost but that really isn’t  important. Wandering around in history to try and figure out what happened or how it happened is counterproductive. What is important is to find a way to rekindle it.

Frank Bettger in his book How I raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling tells of his early experience a professional baseball player on a minor league team. He believed that you either have it or you don’t. His friend said ” You’re wrong. Make yourself ACT enthusiastic. It’s as simple as that”.

Norman Vincent Peale’s book is full of examples and ideas all of which intertwine with the Master Keys and what Mark and Davene have been teaching. Mark and Davene have handed me the tools to make this work.

I know it is what I want. I know I can do it. I know I can be an example to others who are searching for their purpose. I keep pushing myself to USE those wonderful tools that have been handed to me. To do the work. To break away from my old blueprint. To pull myself out of this hole and get busy.

Enthusiasm is the magic ingredient. I will find that spark, that enthusiasm once again because I will persist until I do.

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Week #16

I look forward to my meditation time……………..the SIT if you prefer.

I miss it when, on rare occasions I don’t get those 15 – 30 minutes in silence.

When I relax and listen. Really listen. Things do just “come to my mind”.

A couple days ago two different thoughts came to my mind that were more than helpful to two different people in my life. I realize that these ideas would help them with their entirely different problems. So I shared. Dropped the seed and let them decide what to do with it.

It has been fun to see the positive response and ultimate solution to their problems be resolving. Of course, time will tell if all is resolved but for now I find contentment with their genuine thankfulness.

Now, can I please have some of those ideas, thoughts drop in to guide ME to what I need to be doing. What direction I need to go to figure out my purpose………..my Dharma.

Maybe, I have not been paying attention. Maybe, I have been in denial. I KNOW I have been angry and frustrated but I don’t know why. So many mixed feelings.

I will continue. I will persist.

I will report one day down the road that I KNOW where I am headed. Soon.

Week #15

I was not sure I should go on. I feel as if I am not holding up my part in the Alliance. I am not doing all of the things I have learned will help me to move toward my ‘purpose’ or my Dharma faster. I seem to be moving at a snails pace.

For now, this is the pace I am traveling. The fact is I am traveling in the right direction and  I have to stop worrying about what I am not getting done and just keep doing what I am.

I went so far as to look up the definition of alliance to be sure I was not being dishonest.

An alliance is a pact, coalition or friendship between two or more parties, made in order to advance common goals and to secure common interests.”

I do wish to advance the common goals and very much wish to secure the common interests. So, I will continue to keep my head up and put one foot in front of the other. I am not nor could I hold anyone else back. In fact, my journey here may help someone else down the road.

I will persist. I will succeed.

In light of that I realized that one of the things in my DMP was to deliver Meals on Wheels. I asked myself what I was waiting for. What is keeping me from doing that NOW? I had no good answer so I filled out the application and submitted it as well as talked to the gal in charge of my local group. DO IT NOW.

I am forcing myself to take some action on the things that I can take action on NOW. I already feel better and know that I will continue to move forward every day.

Wk #14

There is a reason my post for Week #14 is late. I had no idea what to say and until I heard Mark on the Week #15 intro video I was thinking that I have failed miserably.

This video is just what I needed to hear at the right time.

It’s okay that I need to revisit the PPN’s and the DMP. I have not felt good about reading or even looking at these for more time than I care to admit.

Feeling SAD that I could not embrace what I have written and even more SAD that I still do not know what I want.

Mark’s advice : ASK YOUR HEART WHAT IT WANTS. I need to really listen to my heart on this and more importantly I don’t need to be perfect. Thank you.

I can make changes as I go. Yes, I did already know that but today, this time it really made a difference to how I am feeling with all of this.

As importantly as ASK YOUR HEART is MAKE A DECISION. DECIDE ON SOMETHING.

I can stop being upset thinking I am behind or have lost something all these weeks. I have not! I have learned so much about myself. I have become painfully aware of some my shortcomings and being aware I have made improvements. Small steps but small steps in the RIGHT DIRECTION. I no longer will discount that. I persist. I win.persistence-1

Week #13

I just finished reading a  fellow MKMMA’s blog for this week where she states that she was “tweaking her DMP to make it thrilling, joyful, soul filling, and heart bursting experience every time I read it or think about it…… ”  this really bothered me because I know I do not feel any of these things when I read my DMP….  (http://masterkeylinda2.wordpress.com/)

I need some serious tweaking to get to that point. It is my biggest issue. Without that THRILLING, JOYFUL, SOUL FILLING, and HEART BUSTING experience every time I read it or think about it I am missing out.

I realize I do not FEEL these feelings about anything right now. I am searching my life for when I have had such feelings but come up short.

I know the Master Key System does work. I have NO doubts about that whatsoever which is why Part 12 – 6 frightens me.

“But your ideal must be sharp, clear-cut, definite; to have one ideal today, another tomorrow, and a third next week, means to scatter your forces and accomplish nothing; your result will be a meaningless and chaotic combination of wasted material.”

My mediation / sits are all about figuring out what I want. I continue to sit each day (sometimes twice a day) with the intention of going within to really listening to what my heart is telling me. Until it becomes clear I will persist.

In the meantime, I am full of gratitude for all that I have, for all the people in my life, for this class and the like minded group of people in the Alliance. It is so enjoyable to list and read all of the big and little things that I appreciate and love in my life each day.

I am and will be forever grateful for this experience and what it is teaching me about myself.

Week #12

I have been having a hard time reading the Greatest Salesman this month. This got me off track on the routine of reading. Not an excuse, just a fact.

I realized I needed to use THE LAW OF SUBSTITUTION to get through Scroll III.  I loved reading Scroll I and Scroll II was a joy to read. I understand the message in Scroll III is important and I need to read it as directed but could not pick it up first thing in the morning to do so.

Finally, it hit me. I would NOT read the paragraph about the young bulls. In it’s place I have now substituted a memory of my cat Pumpkin and the night she watched and waited for a mouse to come out from under the dresser in our bedroom.

Our other cat, Daisy, had slipped in the door before I realized she had a mouse in her mouth. Daisy dropped the poor little mouse on the floor to play with it. Of course, the mouse ran for cover under the dresser and there he stayed. Daisy got bored and left but Pumpkin did not. She sat there ALL night long waiting and watching.

At some point during the night that mouse must have tried to make a run for it and ended up in my husbands size 16EEEEE shoe. Pumpkin then stood watch over that shoe until morning. She did not give up as Daisy had. She was going to wait until she had that mouse.

This may seem silly to you. My need to substitute Pumpkin’s persistence for the young bulls being pricked but it is what I need to do to read Scroll III as directed.

(I did take that shoe outside and the mouse did climb out and run back to the field.)

Each week the Master Key seems like the best one yet. Each week I wonder how it is that I never heard of this book before now. Part 12-3 can create fear if allowed. “We know that thought is building for us the thing we think of and actually bringing it nearer, yet we find it difficult to banish fear, anxiety or discouragement, all of which are powerful thought forces, and which continually send the things we desire further away, so that it is often one step forward and two steps backward.”

I have been feeling the two steps backward too much lately.

Part 12-4 tells it like it needs to be told. ” The ONLY way to keep from going backward is to keep going forward. Eternal vigilance is the price of success.”

I will persist.  It may not feel like it right now but I will continue to take one more step forward until I win.

Week #11

I recently read something that Anita Moorjani wrote about ‘allowing’. She talks about the choices she made in her life and how or why those choices were made.  (http://www.anitamoorjani.com/the-state-of-allowing/)

She questioned herself: “Am I doing this out of love or fear? Am I doing this because I want to do this?

I think most of the important choices I have made in my life have been out of fear. Fear of disappointing someone. Fear of not being liked. Fear of making someone mad. Fear of loosing someone.

Now, working on MKMMA and making choices for the future me, I realize my choices must come from love not fear.

I believe my biggest challenge is finding my true purpose in life. Finding what makes my heart sing.  I still don’t  feel I have found it yet. Once I do, once I feel like each word of my DMP resonates with me all of my choices will be made from a place of love not from one of fear.

I will take one step at a time and I will persist until I succeed.